Navigating Disappointments: Understanding Others and Taking Control of Your Destiny

Have you ever experienced someone’s comment to you that was a bit off kilt? Or completely assumed someone was your friend, but discovered they weren’t? Or your parents aren’t or weren’t the parents you wished they could be? Hurts. Right?

Here’s the thing.  They actually don’t know how to act any differently. All of their behaviors are from their disappointments in life and still seeking validation. Every day, they wear a mask to fit in, concealing the hurt of a 6, 7, or 8-year-old inside.

While they show you who they are, know that your reaction will determine if you are in control of your destiny. Their reactions or behaviors are learned, so when it seems it’s being directed to you, it actually isn’t. It may hurt at first from the disappointment. I get it, but look at it as “information” and ask yourself what you will do with this information. Allow yourself grace.  Meaning, What NEW story am I willing to create or not. This is how we control our emotions.

1. Now that the information has been presented, decide what level of connection to keep this person.
2. The questions you get to ask yourself are “Here’s what I expect of you so this is when I’ll reach out to you.”
3. Now that I know what I know, “Do I want to create a new relationship, knowing the limitations?”
4. Or not?

We all are human and in that we have feelings but try to give yourself a time limit to have these emotions so you can Keep it Moving. You do this by letting go of having to be right about whoever disappointed you.  Again, they’re still trying to get validation.